Archive 3 Archive 4 Archive 2 OPPORTUNITIES 'assertiveness'
Dr. ssa Monica Monaco
e-mail: menteviva.eu @ libero.it
websites: www.menteviva-eu.com
Assertiveness: from origins to current applications
The concept of "assertiveness" was born in America, in a model of human behavior result-oriented and for this reason that it has found numerous applications in very different fields, such as mental health or psychology, are of primary importance also in the psychology of the school and sports.
Training to ' assertiveness, in fact, is traditionally an effective tool to intervene, improving the "difficult behavior" and personal problems related to difficulties in relationships with others, as well as a way to educate young people, promoting the healthy development of positive self-esteem and ability to relate to the world.
Currently, the development of behavior assertive is a great resource and an opportunity for those who want to improve themselves and their relationship with others.
The importance of ' assertiveness is linked to its nature is, in fact, cross-ability, which can be useful in all areas of life, since the interaction and communication with the others are a feature of daily activities.
The characteristics of assertive communication
Before delving into the characteristics of assertive behavior, we need to clarify the concept that you are talking about.
L ' Assertiveness is a style of communication that facilitates the relationship with the other, minimizing the risk of misunderstanding, making it highly probable positive reactions of the environment and reducing the possibility of adverse events (A. Folcarelli, 2000) .
The assertive style of communication is the foundation of effective communication and is also called "self-affirmation style" , one of the first characteristics of assertiveness is, in fact, the ability to assert themselves, protecting their rights and way of thinking. The ability to express themselves in assertive behavior, however, must be reconciled with respect for others, promoting an equal relationship, which can be briefly expressed by the thought "I exist, you exist."
Consequently, the first step in the formation of assertive behavior is to promote the relations of equality and symmetry, removing the many "stray ideas" that are often associated with social stereotypes or cultural beliefs to specific .
Several observations show, in fact, that the basis of ineffective communication and an attitude of prejudice anassertivo operating machines, that often act in an almost unconscious and sostenengono the importance of some people than others. Examples are the different ideas that must be manifested in relation to older people, people with higher role and persons with higher education level, all thoughts that may cross the mind instinctively and guide the conduct or communication with asymmetry.
Whenever this happens anassertivi styles that are determined more accurately, can be characterized by aggressive behavior or, conversely, from past behavior.
The assertive style of communication is thus at the center between two poles and is characterized by listening to their emotions, positive thoughts about themselves and the idea of \u200b\u200brespect for the 'another, elements that translate into an ability to express themselves without having to override the other.
In style passive emotions are repressed, often giving rise to thoughts of guilt and worthlessness and generating avoidance behaviors or showing a lack of involvement in relationships with others.
In aggressive style, instead, emotions are uncontrolled and often result in other attacks and overly competitive attitudes that aim to dismantle the claims of the counterparty.
Training assertiveness
The so-called "Development of assertiveness training " are programs that aim help acquire the ability not only ability social, but also skills in order to adapt their own behavior and communication in relation to the specific situation you are facing.
The simple learning repertoires assertive, in fact, may be unnecessary or even inappropriate in relation to the ability to handle everyday situations in which certain assertiveness is posed as a possibility and not as a rule, respecting the need to minimize negative reactions of others, ensuring their welfare.
This means that learning to be assertive means learning to be so prevalent and flexibility, but also considering those cases where the context requires more than passive or aggressive behavior.
Relation between Assertiveness, 'Emotional Intelligence and Self-Esteem
The deepening of the characteristics of assertive behavior you understand the three essential core of that style: the discrimination, the 'empathy el' expressiveness.
The first term refers to the ability to recognize their own and others' mental states, for Empathy is the ability to understand the emotions and the perceptual and cognitive perspective of the other, and finally, to expressiveness is the ability to make others aware of their emotions and thoughts.
These three are the roots of assertiveness skills and help you to understand the close connection between this kind of twisted and communication skills that make up the so-called "Emotional Intelligence".
The latter is, in fact, a complex that includes the ability ability to understand and control their own emotions and those of the emotions other and to effectively manage interpersonal relations, composing disputes (D. Goleman, 1994).
Consequently emotional intelligence appears to be the substrate of an assertive style of communication which, in turn, is the expression of those who have been called "emotional qualities or abilities."
Develop assertiveness implies, therefore, have to work on five key capabilities that make the Iintelligenza emotional awareness of one's emotions, managing emotions, the ability to motivate, the empathy and the art society.
Finally, it should be noted that the possibility to express themselves without overpowering the other is only possible if there is a good degree of self-esteem, because only a person with good self-esteem can not handle request and to express herself without prevaricate.
LEADERSHIP ASSERTIVE
assertive leaders, leaders with positive power
A person who possesses an ability to communicate using an assertive style may be a good leader, a leader who does not need to find power imposing itself, because it has an inherent power and positive for herself and for others ( F. Nanetti, 2002).
The power of assertive leader resides primarily in its ability to empowerment, that is in its ability to pull off the resources of his group and increase the chances of the other components, through the ability to negotiate and be able to find the time and the appropriate way to involve others, so that everyone can recognize and have recognized its value. In this way the leader rejects the labels and prejudices with trust and helps to affirm the rights of all.
The ability to accept risk, make requests and also to affirm the belief that sometimes go against are other features of the assertive leader who communicates in an authentic way their doubts and their beliefs even when he knows of no please a part of the group or to counter a common misconception, however, it can capture the collective work.
The ability to express their disapproval in a serene and their opinions without resorting to threats or aggression, allows a leader with an assertive style of settle disputes, discouraging attitudes of superiority, restoring team spirit and lighten the tense moments that do not allow a collective work effectively (Goleman D., Boyatzis, McKee A., 2002).
Sport assertive
As stated on the possibility that assertiveness has a leader, you think about this very important resource in the sports, so for athletes and coaches and sports managers.
assertive leadership is, in fact, competence necessary to achieve the highest goals shared with his team and his group of athletes.
A coach is assertive, in fact, able to motivate the work of each athlete, communicating in a positive and personal and making their athletes participate in its decisions and individual and collective goals, thereby developing an active that can not be achieved through the imposition of a work built on their own and not shared.
Through the ability to recognize and communicate their value to each athlete and their resources, it also becomes a coach than a teacher setbacks it will inevitably have to face and can help, through a statement that no charges or transmit, or willingness, to review and redesign its commitment by supporting spontaneously self-esteem.
The ability to dissociate themselves from a gregarious style or a dominant style also helps to promote the inclusion in the sport group of athletes who also have greater difficulty in being accepted by the rest of the group and that for these reasons, often not can express the most of their opportunity or risk to leave the sport at the first set.
The assertiveness training is, therefore, an issue of crucial importance in all professions that involve mediation of needs and management of human resources, resulting in a very important opportunity to improve communication between different generations and a tool that promises its fruits even in the difficult relationship between parents and children (Gottman, J., J. De Claire, 1997).
Some references:
Gottman J., De Claire J., 1997, Trad it. Emotional Intelligence for a child. A guide for parents , RCS, Milano.
Goleman D., Boyatzis, McKee A., 2002, Trad it. Esser leader , Rizzoli, Milan.
Goleman D., 1995, Trad it. Emotional Intelligence, RCS, Milano.
Folcarelli A., 2000, Educating assertiveness, and School Psychology in No 101-102-103-104-105, Franco Angeli, Milan .
F. Nanetti, 2002, The appearance of power , Quattroventi, Urbino.
Monaco M., 2004, assertive communication for Mental Health, Mental Health Brochure Series No. 1, Main ASPENonlus, Palermo .
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